How could a band get this horrible?

I had a little talk with Wes Borland, the guitarist, about this subject. The following news came to me as a suprise.

DestroyU:How did this happen? I mean, how could your band sound this bad?

Wes: Well, it all started like this. We were recording our demo tape to get our name out. After many months we were finally finished....and broke (laughs). The only thing left to do was master the recording, you know make it all professional sounding. We decided to all go get some food when Fred says "Hey guys, I am not that hungry.....I'll stay here and put the final touches on it." I was unsure about the idea of Fred doing this because he is a complete moron, but I needed french fries badly. We came back and to our suprise Fred was already finished. I was proud because for once Fred did something right. I said "Alright! Let's listen to it!". Fred said "Okay,but now I am kind of hungry. I will see you guys tomorrow." and with that he bolted out of the door. I put on the cd and this high pitched,whiny,prepubesant voice screeched out of the speakers. Not only that, but there were these horrible guitar and bass lines that an ape could create.Sweat was running down my forehead and then I saw it. To my utter horror the "suck" knob on the mixing board was turned up to it's maximum level. It was too late now. The recording had been altered and we did not have the time or money to master it again. I said fuck it and we just decided to send out the demos despite of the fact we would be the laughing stock of the scene. A week later we were getting calls from several record lables wanting to sign us. Radio stations were playing us everywere and that's not just because we payed them to.Now with every cd we record we turn the suck knob all the way up.

DestroyU: Die....just die.